Fuku
by IceCrome
Summary: When Usagi and Mamoru became a couple, the didn't expect that the usual fights that came along with couplehood were this retarded. Crack, OS.


_This was all done so I could have Usagi say one line._

_© Naoko Takeuchi_

* * *

"—_who_ is the one who looks _better _in a cape and top-hat, _U-sa-ko? _I doubt Sailor Moon would look _that _dapper in a cape." Mamoru teased, and tapped her lightly on the nose. She repressed a scream, and red slowly started to make its way up her face.

As of late, the couple was currently arguing over looks better—while fighting or no—Sailor Moon or Tuxedo Kamen. Obviously, Usagi sided with Sailor Moon, whilst Mamoru was obviously with Tuxedo Kamen. The residents at the Crown Arcade bought as much popcorn as their wallets could hold as the fighting between Mamoru and Usagi hadn't happened since before the two (finally, in some people's opinions) started dating. However, the patrons had been much deprived, and since the argument had been going on now for at least half an hour, the patrons were all starting to get in what they lacked the most: fighting between two people who love each other. It was comedy gold.

"Motoki-oniisan, who has a cooler costume? Tuxedo Kamen-sama or Sailor Moon?" Usagi pouted towards Motoki, and made her eyes sparkle so much that Mamoru rolled his eyes and obviously knew which answer Motoki would choose.

"I _was going_ to say Sailor Moon anyway, Usagi-chan. She looks rather ah...'cute' in her fuku." Motoki blushed slightly, and if looks could kill, Motoki would be pushing daisies from the glare Mamoru was giving him. Usagi elbowed him gently in the ribs, letting him know 'don't _kill him, _Mamo-chan, a dead Motoki _really _wouldn't look very good'.

"Any_way..._Mamo-chan, just because Tuxedo Kamen-sama looks better in a cape and top hat doesn't mean Tuxedo Kamen-sama would look better in a short skirt with cutesy boots!" Usagi put her hands on her hips and pouted and Mamoru, despite being her all-loving boyfriend, managed to easily resist the look.

The patrons around them, including the Guardian and Outer Senshi, watched the entire scene with amusement. Sure, Usagi and Mamoru got into petty fights occasionally but _sheesh, _nobody had ever seen the two fight over who looked cooler in outfit.

"Odango, I think you and Mamoru-san need to just...stop." Haruka said, coughing slightly to suppress a chuckle.

"Haruka-san! Who do _you _think looks cooler?!" Usagi got into her face. Haruka's eyes bulged into the size of China platters, and she pushed Usagi away with her index finger.

"Odango, please never do that again. To answer your question, I think Sailor Uranus looks the coolest. But to be frank, Tuxedo Kamen-sama does look rather dashing in a cape, I'll give him that." Haruka sipped on her tea, and Mamoru gave Usagi an arrogant smirk, one she hadn't seen since Seiya left for Kinmoku. Usagi had to restrain her fist from meeting with his jaw.

"Mamo-chan, why can't you just agree that Sailor Moon looks better! Besides..." She stood on her tip-toes to reach his ear, "that's not what you said when we first became a couple..." Mamoru blushed, something that came few and far between. Rei sighed.

"Honestly, they're acting like they were a few years back before they were together! This is ridiculous..." Rei said. Usagi opened her mouth to ask her the question, but Rei shot her a glare. "And my answer is Tuxedo Mask! Sailor Moon can't kill an enemy with a rose!"

"He can't kill them, just _maim them! _Who killed the youma with her friggin' tiara, huh? Sailor Moon did!" Usagi huffed. Unazuki, who had come back from the kitchen doing dishes, just _had _to walk outside and see what everything was all about.

"Usagi-chan, Mamoru-san, what _are_ you all arguing about?" Unazuki gave a look to Motoki who rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Unazuki-chan! Who looks better? Tuxedo Kamen-sama or Sailor Moon?!" Unazuki blinked.

"Well, Tuxedo Kamen is really handsome, but Sailor Moon _did _save me! Plus she looks adorable in a skirt, something I can't pull off very well...so I'd have to go with Sailor Moon!" Unazuki chirped, and Usagi slung an arm over her shoulder, and smiled, and stuck her tongue out at Mamoru, who rolled his eyes.

"See Mamo-chan, she thinks Sailor Moon looks better, too! Motoki-oniisan's family has _really _good taste, unlike _you!_" Usagi stuck out her tongue again, and the Senshi sighed.

"Mamoru-san, I'm not sure, but what _exactly _started this argument?" Hotaru asked, swirling her milkshake around with a spoon. She glanced up at Mamoru, who seemed deep in thought.

"Ano...to tell the truth, Hotaru-chan, I'm not exactly sure...we started watching the animated series some...person made of Sailor Moon, and then I said Tuxedo Kamen looked cooler than Sailor Moon, and she said Sailor Moon looked cooler, and...that's kinda where we are now." He put his arms behind his head.

"Ma_-mor-u-_saaan! You're denser than Usagi! You do realize she's going to win this fight, right?" Minako said, sipping innocently on her smoothie. Mamoru blinked, ignoring Usagi praise Unazuki for her wise choice.

"You say that why?"

"Because she's a _girl,_ duh! Women win 99.9 percent of fights/arguments! Have you lived under a _rock? _Honestly, Mamoru-san. Even Setsuna-san knew that, and she was at the Time Gates her whole life! Women are _brain ninjas._"

"I resent that, Minako-chan. However, it is true. She'll win, eventually Mamoru-san. It's common knowledge for all men." Setsuna sipped on her mocha latte. Mamoru took a deep breath, and sighed.

"Tuxedo Kamen is still cooler." He said audibly enough so Usagi could hear him. She stomped up to him, and put her face in his.

"Oh yeah? Well Tuxedo Kamen-sama didn't save the world from Galaxia _naked!_" Mamoru blushed.

"...I'll be honest when I say I liked it when you came up and hugged me..." He murmured, loud enough for her to hear, but quiet enough for everybody else to wonder what he said.

"Ma_mo_-CHAN!" She yelled. Michiru sighed, and turned to Haruka.

"Aren't you glad we never fought like this?" Haruka chuckled.

"Very." The two leaned back, and watched the world burn. Hotaru smiled.

"You two fight, but Michiru-mama ends up winning. Why is that, Haruka-papa?" Hotaru asked, putting a big spoonful of milkshake in her mouth. Michiru giggled.

"Hotaru-kun, it's because Haruka can't seem to fathom the idea that Iijima Ai was _not _in the show we were watching, no matter how many times she says it was." Haruka flushed, and turned to glare at her significant other.

"That was _one _time!"

"But what a funny time it was..." Haruka growled a little, much to Michiru's amusement.

"Darling, we're not at home. You can't do that in public." Haruka flushed, and put a hand to a face to cover it up. Hotaru giggled, and Setsuna smiled at their embarrassment. Ami and Makoto, who had (wisely) stayed out of the conversation until thus far, just had to put their two cents in.

"Usagi-chan, could you please stop this bickering? It's quite unnecessary. Both you and Mamoru-san love each other, and you fight over something petty as this—." Ami was interrupted by Usagi.

"I'm sorry to interrupt Ami-chan, but Mamo-chan just needs to accept the fact that Sailor Moon has a better outfit than Tuxedo Kamen-sama! Despite the fact that he _does _look—,"

"Attractive? Dashing? Dapper? Bond-esque? Handsome?" Mamoru interrupted, and Usagi glared at him.

"—_yes _Mamo-chan. He does look...'attractive', but Sailor Moon has such a cute skirt! And the boots are adorable. And if you can't accept that Mamo-chan, then I guess you'll be sleeping on the couch!" Haruka gave a low whistle, and Hotaru knee-jerked in reaction, before laughing so hard tears formed from her eyes. Along with Minako. And Makoto. And Rei. Hell, _everybody_ at the damn arcade was pissing themselves laughing. Even Setsuna, the stone-faced guardian of time was laughing so hard her ribs hurt.

"Usa_ko_..." He mumbled, pulling on her hand slightly. She yanked it away, and stuck her nose high in the air.

"Mamo-chan, you have to agree that Sailor Moon looks cuter! Besides...Seiya would've..." Makoto, after hearing those words, knew everything was over and Usagi had won. Mamoru would buckle under the words, thinking of himself as a bad boyfriend, and immediately go out to some random-ass flower shop and buy her flowers, wanting both her forgiveness and sex. She'd known this from him coming to the Crown Arcade, stressed out to the max, and asking Minako for love advice, due to his ineptness with the mind of a woman, like many a fair amount of men. Makoto, conveniently had been there with Minako when he came in to bitch about how horrible a boyfriend he was. Handy!

"U-Usako...I..."

"Maybe I should find a way to get to Kinmoku!" She whispered to him mock-harshly. She walked out of the arcade, leaving a stunned Mamoru and many customers with tear-tracks down their cheeks.

"Usako, Usako, wait!" The customers all burst out laughing. Honestly, love between two young people was absolutely _retarded_.

Motoki, who had to push his little sister off of him to get up from the floor, was still suppressing chuckles and giggles from the event that had just passed. Hilarious for them, horribly, horribly shameful and embarrassing for the couple who had just argued. But dammit, _comedy gold!_

"Oh...Oh Jesus...he ran after her, right?" Motoki said, sniffling and laughing again.

"Yep. It seems like no matter how dense Usagi is, Mamoru will always be a step behind. I think all that book-smart knowledge is blocking out his common knowledge by the fact that every trick Usagi uses will always work." Makoto sighed, and pouted. "I wish I had my own dense idiot..." Makoto pursed her lips, and Minako gave her a pat on the back.

"S'okay. Don't beat yourself up, eh Mako-chan? A guy'll fall for you eventually." Minako smiled brightly. "Or you could turn lesbian. I'm sure Haruka would appreciate that." Haruka spit out her drink, and Michiru patted her on the back to get her to stop coughing.

"However much Haruka _may_ appreciate it, I _am_ her significant other, Minako-chan." Setsuna had snorted, and Hotaru giggled. Her parents were so awkward.

"Michiru-mama, where do you think Usagi-chan and Mamoru-san went?" Rei snorted.

"It's rather obvious, Hotaru-chan. Mamoru went to follow Usagi-chan, who's giggling incessantly at the fact that she succeed in proving she has him wrapped around her little finger yet _again. _Mamoru, in grief, will go to her and buy her _flowers _or some shit to make up with her. Then they will make up and promptly make Chibiusa a little brother or sister." Makoto and Haruka laughed, while Michiru chuckled.

Michiru gave Rei a look, "I doubt that Rei-chan, I have more faith in my Prince and Princess."

* * *

"—and so, Usako, I would like to say that _(grumble) _Sailor Moon has a cooler _(and sexier) _outfit than Tuxedo Kamen. So could you forgive me?" Usagi giggled.

"Of course, Mamo-chan. I forgive you!" She pecked him on the lips, and he wrapped his strong arms around her.

"Usako..." His lips met with her, and her cupped her cheek. The moon shone, and all was well.

* * *

_Segway!_

"Now Michiru, would you _please _pay up?" Rei held out her hand to the teal-haired woman, and Michiru sighed. Of course, due to the fact that she had faith in her Prince and Princess meant absolutely nothing because her Prince and Princess were absolutely freaking insane.

"Haruka, do you have your wallet? I forgot mine..."

* * *

_I prefer Tuxedo Kamen's outfit. However, Eternal Sailor Moon looks awesome. _


End file.
